I recently put one of those digital photo frames in my kitchen, in the corner of a countertop by my cookbooks. It made my kitchen feel more homey to me. My hope was that if it felt more homey, i’d want to be in there more…i.e. i’d want to cook more. Honestly so far I think it has worked a little in getting me in there for more than just some pioneer woman cookie baking.
This morning I got up early while everyone else was sleeping. Before I started to get some actual work done, I moseyed on downstairs to make some coffee. My digital photo frame was flipping through images from the last few years..2008, our last blissful year as “just us”, and 2009…the most insane year of our life thus far, so we thought. I saw pictures of Ben sick, 40 pounds lighter with illness, pictures of josiah as a little baby, images of me with huge smiles and and laughs hanging out with friends “pre-kiddo”, funny instances and alone times with just ben and I…
I got a little nostalgic and thought for one second, as ALL parents do at least a few times a week….”omgosh, I was so blissfully unaware of how easy I had it before kids.” You know you think the same thing. Oh what a state of blissful naivety I perpetually lived in, skating through each day with menial responsibilities like a “job” and “keeping house”. I got to be a wife and take care of myself and a husband..which at the time, seemed so huge…now looking back, I think, man I should have been a MASTER, a BLACK BELT if you will in “caring for the hubby” because little did I know how insane it is to care for him AND children. A blessing and an awesome responsibility, and insane. How many times did I completely take for granted the ability to simply jump up and head out to see a movie…or enjoy an impromptu dinner date with my sweetheart…or head out on a spontaneous weekend trip out of town…
Its a toss up, isnt it? a catch 22. because you know what?
how could I trade ANYTHING, for this?
how could I even begin to think about not seeing this sweet face every day?
how could I survive without the bear hugs this little man gives me day in and day out?
how could I bear the thought of not being able to melt every time I see them together?
I couldnt. Thats the honest truth.
Yep, I miss the movies. I certainly miss alone time with the love of my life, Ben. I definitely miss dates and spontaneity.
But I’d miss them way more.
As insane as every day is in my house, as crazy as I feel kiddos make me sometimes, today I know that I am beyond blessed to have them.